Intellectual Constipation

Do you ever feel like you need to produce something, and this urge weighs so heavily on your mind that your brain feels twisted into knots inside your scalp?

I noted a few posts ago that I'm innately a "doer", but I think I should clarify that. I am also innately a "reflector", and most of the things I do are investigations: what happens when I roll over my shoulder with my feet up? what's the big deal about microfinance? how effective can nonprofits be?

I get frustrated when I cannot produce anything tangible; when I do not present answers to these questions to others. At the same time I'm afraid of doing that--what if my answers are wrong, or people don't care, or I'm presenting them wrongly? All my skills of analysis don't matter if I can't capture people's attention or produce something with the information.

Hence the concept of intellectual constipation: when one consumes so much knowledge that one needs to let it out but can't find a mechanism to do so.

I need to find some intellectual fibre, that's what I need to do.

Also, I need to remember that it's not the stuff that comes out of me that defines who I am, though it may be very good. God has created me to do good works, and everything useful and precious that I produce is by His grace. I am His workmanship, already prepared to do good works. Sometimes, just being who I am is glorifying to Him.